Friday, November 13, 2009


Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, there's a place that I heard of once in a lullaby. If happy little bluebirds fly why oh why can't I?

You did, mama, you reached your place somewhere over the rainbow, above the pain and heartache this world caused you. While on this earth, you celebrated 70 years, 50 of which married to Bob, mother to 8 children, grandmama to 17 grandchildren.

You gave us your best and after a long battle with the depression disease and excruciating body pain, you cashed in your chips on November 16, 2007. This was not your first attempt to leave us, but alas, your strong will succeeded.

Your family failed you, our love could not sustain you nor encourage you to endure your demons. Ultimately, you chose another path. Now it is our task to endure your choices and with God's grace, we will.

My resources lead me to Diandra, a channeler of the angel Salem, and this is what I was told. I choose to believe this insight. Salem says the old ways will not work, we are not on solid ground and need to just take a deep breath through our experiences. We cannot put our hands around things as in the past. We were able to understand and fix things before, NOW we have to ride the tide and need to allow beauty in our lives. Mom has no regrets - there was no price to pay for her actions. People cling to survival things because it is all they know, but life is just a moment and the soul is just a moment of experience. Her soul is very old - she's a little bored with planet earth's existences - manifestations of her soul. Mom says "I know I'll be back again, but I am going to choose it carefully as I want to be everything in my final experience so my soul can move on." She is fine and the depth of her soul is deep, it is deeper than peace or wisdom. The depth of her soul is very knowing and telling. (Mom is smiling because she's happy I know this.) I mention how her passing has devastated the family and her response is "These are lessons to be learned on planet earth and as long as you attach yourself in this manner to anything, you are going to have pain of loss." She has given us a great gift if we can learn the lesson of not being attached, whether to a person, lifestyle, things, and live just for the moment's interaction. If people get that, our world will be better (Diandra likes mom and senses her deep philosophical views and likes the way she is so non-chalant about things we make so important or heavy - she is in a much better space.) Even though mom had a hard life, it is because she had a hard time with this planet; she had a hard time with the way people behave here and sometimes wishes she never set foot onto earth. There is no time there and this is what it is right now. We should bless others to their higher good when conflicted as we need to deal with life in the shifting sands.

I am at peace for now you finally know all the truths I never shared to protect you from heartache. We overcame our differences and made amends after our difficulties. We are mere mortals on this earth and make hurtful mistakes and you and I knew this secret. We overcame our obstacles and forgave the hurt we brought each other. My heart is clean and my choices were made with love. I am proud to be your daughter. Someday we will be together again and we can embrace without you wincing in pain. Until then sweet mama. xo