back in my arms again

Dillan came over for a play day and what a glorious time we had.  He took his morning cat nap and I just held him the whole time.  He slept through the night so he was raring to go today. Once he woke up it was all systems go and did not stop for 12 hours.  At this age, he recognizes us and makes eye contact and tracks us as we move around.  He moves his arms around and kicks and squeals when he gets excited and especially so when mom and dad enter the room.  He still smiles at everyone but sooner than later he will start sorting out who's who in his life.  He may find our scent soothing and calming.  He is starting to draw conclusions about the whole world around him.

We took advantage of this beautiful weather and headed out for a long buggy ride as he absolutely loves the trees.  Everytime we passed under one, he became mesmerized and we purposely kicked the leaves on the ground so it would make a lot of noise.  Check out those big baby blue eyes.

I read But No Elephants ~ twice ~ as he really enjoyed that book.  He likes his bouncer and we added an alligator mirror that plays music and he grabbed the mobile star.  He doesn't grasp the rattles just yet.  When he is tired of being stimulated he lets us know and I give him a tour of his favorite spots ~ the garden, blinds, the trees, and when he needs to calm down, the stained glass birdies in the bath.  As Wayne put it perfectly "when he's upset, he goes from 1 to 90 in a hurry." 

Right now everything goes in the mouth.  The oral phase is evident and he explores with his fingers and the pacifier is secondary.  This provides comfort and if you give baby anything it will end up in his mouth.  I love how he dozes off when I feed him the bottle.  He smiles because he's so happy and content with his full belly.  His arms and legs are strong and muscular ~ I call him porkchop :0

Babies simply love to be touched.  In fact, they thrive on it.  Touch is a critical part of growth and development. I gave him a soothing massage with lotion because all that skin-to-skin contact helps us bond and it is soothing when he is upset and irritable.  It is important to nurture baby's sense of touch with a variety of materials such as fur, terrycloth and felt (even though baby will try and eat everything!)  The feel of a gentle breeze or being kissed on the nose are powerful ways to relax and engage baby and may even make him more alert and help have a longer attention span.

When placed on his stomach, baby will lift his head and shoulders high, using arms for support.  This mini push-up helps strengthen his muscles and gives him a better view of what's going on. He may even amaze us (and himself) by rolling from his back to his front and vice versa.  Right now Dillan does not care to be on his stomach but when he is, he goes into airplane mode and lifts his head, arms and legs. He is very strong and it won't be long until he realizes movement brings him more joy.

Mom and Dad came over for Friday night pizza and we visited for a bit.  It was nice catching up on what's been going on the past few weeks.  They had a professional photographer take family pictures ~ simply fabulous!  When the day was over, we all fell asleep with a boat load of love in our hearts and a huge smile on our face.  

the new wind family xo

for the purpose

The Words of St. Therese

Great deeds are forbidden me. I cannot preach the Gospel nor shed my blood – but what does it matter? Others toil instead of me, and I, a little child, keep close by the throne of God and I love for those who fight. Love proves itself in deeds. I will scatter flowers, perfuming the Divine Throne, and I will sweetly sing my hymn of love. These flowers are every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least of actions for love.

                                            Our Novena Prayer

Little Flower, child of God, you had great and heroic dreams to embrace everthing. You had to learn your limits and focus the divine energy of love into the ordinary details and routines of life.
Inspirit me with your “little way” to learn to focus my energy and God’s love on the little things. Help me sweetly perfume life by simple smiles, words of encouragement, kind eyes and peaceful judgments. Let my actions speak more powerfully than my words of Jesus’ great love for each and every one of God’s children.
Keep me faithful to the details and small things that are so significant in our lives. Give me your childlike and tender spirit. Teach me how to do ordinary things with your extraordinary love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This novena prayer has settled in my soul for quite some time lately and after meditating on the words they reached out and I listened to its personal message to me.  Life dictates our destiny but we choose how to shine in our world in our everyday contributions and productivity.  I am finding my purpose in the past has been fulfilled and need to pursue another direction besides remaining a domestic goddess.  I didn't wait too long to take action and felt a little out of my element when preparing a resume as I never, ever needed one my whole life, but this is a new world and I pulled one together.  The next course of action was deciding where I want to offer my specialties and immediately I thought of a spa in Hinsdale where it all began for me a dozen years ago.  My friend, Frank, built Nature's Path at that time and I assisted in providing my first offerings to clients attending a few Ladies Nights.  This helped me gain the confidence I needed to continue giving massage on my own and as my mentor, Frank led the way for me to follow as I opened The Goddess Touch closing in on 12 years now. 

I dropped off my resume with Maria, the current owner of Your Natural Element, whom I met a long time ago.  This is a quaint and lovely spa and salon offering a variety of services with Aveda products. We have the same insight and passion for our craft and hold many ideals in common.  Within an hour I received a call  to discuss the details and later that day it was official that I resume massage therapy at her spa.  I called a few clients and they already made a reservation, so the universe is providing a purpose for me with open arms.  Everything went smoothly for this transition back into the real world.  I can continue to do what I do best and feel appreciation for a job well done.  Unfortunately, we don't always get that being a domestic goddess.  Feel me? 

The room I will be working out of is the color purple, which means thoughout the dozen years, I have provided sessions in rooms of every chakra color except for blue.  We never know what opportunities life will bring us but I do know that when she throws us a curve ball, we must look at this as a sign there will always be another one pitched to us, and if we can just find a way to connect with it, hit it hard, and let it fly as far as it will go, we will win the game.  As my motto says, service to humanity is true spirituality.  This goddess is not done yet! xo

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."  Abraham Lincoln



america the beautiful

On a whim, we lightly packed the Lexus and let her take us on a journey to the East coast.  The plan was to have no plans and just drive to clear our heads and soothe our souls.  This is uncharacteristic of us but my inner voice told me we needed to do this, so we did.  We didn't know where we would go or how long, but let the spirit move us.  On Friday we checked in at our local AAA to get a few triptik maps to give us an idea of how to hit the roads but we soon discovered the best tool to travel is the AAA traveltik on the iphone.   Everything you need is literally at your fingertips and it gives your current location, gas, food and hotels in the area, how many miles and hours until the next destination, and it even has a little co-pilot.  And it's a free app, to boot!  We drove in sunny silence through Illinois, Indiana and Ohio without any music or noise to clutter our thoughts.  We talked and talked some more, and as Wayne says "kicked the same old can around" quite a bit to give us some direction in this thing called life.  After 8 hours, something strange happened.  We fell upon Buffalo, New York and impulsively drove to Niagara Falls where we were filled with awe at the wonder of this natural beauty.  

This was the only moment we felt a little pressure to get somewhere as we hoped to arrive before the sun set ~ and we did!  Back in the day, Niagara Falls was the place to take a honeymoon.  This trip was taking on a healing form already.  Nature does that.

Wayne made this trip 27 years ago for business so we revisited his routes a little at first and decided to settle in Rochester to rest our weary bones.  It took 3 hotels before we secured a room as the town was filled to capacity due to a hockey tournament.  Lesson learned ~ it helps to pre-plan overnight lodging. 

I dubbed this my giving tree as we parked the car and I sat under her in the early morning, receiving loads of inspiration and some answers to my questions, embracing the healing being provided.  We did not plan this, but it just so happened we began travelling each day at 8:15am and took stretch breaks every 3 hours.  These were just natural occurrences so it struck us as strange that it worked out that way.  We were in awe at how remarkably beautiful upstate New York appeared to be.  For some reason I associate this state just as the Big Apple but the landscape where we drove proved otherwise.

Driving on I-90 gave us a taste of the lay of the land as we only wanted to keep driving and explore in detail the sites that tickled our fancy later in life.  We scoped and scoured and took notes where to revisit another time.  The Adirondaks area is on our list.  New York is a very long state to drive through and this is where we popped in some music and played Allman Brothers listening to Whipping Post (no comment) Dreams, Blue Sky, Melissa and many more.  It brought us back to our relationship roots and filled us with warm fuzzies until we arrived at our second magnificant landmark of Boston. As we arrived at this historic coastal city, we decided to stay at the Harborside Inn as we favor boutique hotels ~ perfect. 

This gave us an opportunity to stretch out and grab some seafood at No Name restaurant built in 1917. We hopped on a trolley where the guide gave us a glimpse of the downtown sites and after dinner we strolled throughout Boston.  The first settlers arrived in the 1600s so this town is filled with our country's historical roots; we fell upon a cemetary with headstones carrying these dates.  We browsed the area while enjoying a pistachio ice cream cone and watching a movie being filmed.  We hung out at the Faneuil (fannel) Hall Marketplace and when dusk fell upon us, decided to retire for the evening.  Thanks to cable television, I watched the new show Curiosity and was intrigued with the history of what happened to the mesmerizing island of Atlantis.  Worth watching.  The next thing I knew, a new day fell upon us. 

We tried to take a photo of a beautifully designed building where we parked our car, but security prohibited us from doing so and when we inquired as to the reason we were just told  "not allowed" and wouldn't devulge who was in the building, so we assume it was a secret governmental or important business.  No picture taking allowed outside the whole block either!  Kinda cool.  At 8:15 we headed up north on I-95 to visit Portland, Maine as Danny's friends own a jazz bar called Gingko Blue so we decided to check it out.  Were we in for a pleasant surprise.  The sun was shining brightly on this 80 degree day as we arrived to find Portland filled with wonderful energies.  We almost felt like we were in Oz ~ it had that affect on us. 

After a bit of strolling we settled at Portland Lobster Co. and ate the best fish ~ cod and salmon ~ with the tastiest onion rings and Shipyard Thumper beer.  It got even better when a trio entertained us and performed Babylon by David Gray ~ to perfection.   It captured our hearts so much so that we are determined to revisit this city in detail in the near future.  In retrospect, we both agreed we should have lingered longer but now we have a plan for another day.

After picking up a few souvenirs for the boys we headed back down I-95 and while our souls were shining a bit brighter, just followed it to the southernmost tip in Rhode Island and headed back west which gave us an overview of Connecticut and Massachusetts.  We hoped to see the waters, to no avail.  Another day we will explore Nantucket, Cape Cod and make sure to see some whales and lighthouses in the bay area. 

The sun was setting in Rhode Island which is just a little itty bitty state but we made sure to get our lottery ticket before entering Connecticut.  We secured 22 tickets total ~ two for each state we passed through.  Big Daddy will be proud! 

Connecticut is lovely in its own way.  There is a quaint feeling of pureness as we travelled north.  This would be a state to take the sideroads to really get the feel of its offerings.  My cousin, Deena, and her family resided there for over 20 years so we can get tips from her.  After Massachusetts we entered Vermont as we followed the one and only side road of the trip ~ Route 9 ~ which would lead us to Bennington (I just pointed and picked this place to stay overnight.)  I would have stopped at Yankee Candle and loaded the trunk but unfortunately it was closed.  Nightfall arrived and driving the winding roads in the mountains reminded us of the scene in a Pee Wee Herman movie.  Initially, the area was not too welcoming and we almost kept going, but once we drove through the town we felt secure enough to stay overnight at the designated dwelling. 

The morning provided a gorgeous sunrise and delicious treats at the Main Street Cafe.  The storefronts boast these unusual artsy designs and we noticed moose are favorites in this area.   We stopped at St. Francis church and made our intentions.   

Continuing on route 9 brought fog and the beauty I envisioned the area would behold. 

The leaves are just beginning to change colors and I bet in a few weeks this area will be filled with color extravaganza as mother nature continues her annual autumnal ritual. 

  As we headed back home, again at 8:15 eastern time, we let I-90 guide us all the way in. The weather was absolutely perfect all four days providing sensational sunny 80 degree days all the way through, enabling us to enjoy the beauty to its fullest.  As we drove through Ohio the rains began and continued through pockets of Indiana, but alas, after 15 hours, we arrived back home, safe and sound, filled with so much stimulating scenery and the comfort of bonding with my best friend.  The thing about relationships is when one partner has their glass half empty, the other is usually half full and can help bring the balance, but when both partners have half empty glasses, we have to let nature take its course and provide the answers with healing anecdotes.  The messages received from the universe were keep the faith and united we stand (remember that old tune?  well, we heard it in Ohio!) 

We found it necessary to get back sooner than later as our beloved puppies refused to eat while we were away.   Our adventure lasted 4 days, covered 11 states, and the Lexus odometer packed on 2,410 miles. 90 ~ 95 ~ 9 were the roads that carried us.  This whirlwind journey cleared out the cobwebs tangling our minds and brought us the strength to endure come what may.  We will definitely encourage our sons to travel more often while they are young and discover all the beauty America has to offer.  There are 14 more states to see before we can claim having touched base through all 50 in our country.  Everyone should make this a lifetime goal.  I understand Sir Paul McCartney travelled Route 66 when he was 66 years old.  Cool.  Sometimes spur of the moment pursuits bring enormous moments that take your breath away.  Now that we took our virgin road trip in this manner, we are confident another trip out west will provide just as much pleasure.  I have the Sturgis and the Black Hills on my mind and Utah and New Mexico call me at times.  The only detriment about travelling this way is not being able to capture on film all the little signs that made us chuckle.  Our memories will have to hold the little treasures.  We did manage to take photos of the welcome signs in each state, but the one that made us smile the most was in a little New York town that posted the following "welcome to Hoosick, population: 12,407 happy people and a couple of grumpy ones." 

clear eyes...clear hearts xo

leaf peepin'

Sometimes you just gotta get up and hit the road.  Get out of dodge.  Chop off your hair filled with heartaches (I now sport a bob.) Let it all go.  Don't look back. We decided to get in the car and see the sights out East.  The leaves are beginning to change colors and it is known that leaf peeping is referred to people who travel to view and photograph the fall foilage in areas where foilage changes colors, particularly the Northeast.   This is on my list to do, so let's get 'er done, as they say.  Off we go ~ no plans or schedules, just our mighty Atlas and some tips off the internet. 

This is also the time of year where the whales come to mate in the area.  Perhaps we'll get lucky enough to witness something spectacular while dining the finest seafood in this country.  I hope to visit the coastline after our first destination ~ Boston ~ and see Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, New Jersey and if we feel like it, the Carolinas.  My foot is healed so I can help with the driving.  Hold the fort, boys.  Take care of the pups and birdies.  Be back whenever the spirit moves us and we get a big dose of Mother Nature to soothe our souls.  Off we go into the wild blue (and autumn colored) yonder! xo

it's dillan day!

Today I begin my special time with Dillan.  We spent the morning looking around and we saw a hummingbird hovering our flowers.  I read Goodnight, Moon, Are You My Mother and But No Elephants.  He seems to like his new bouncy but doesn't stay in one place too long.

This is the fourth time this little fellow came by this week.  We never saw hummingbirds since we moved here so this is a real treat. 

It is so adorable to listen to him say agoo and ma and oh.  He is busy little dude with his kicking and batting at his mobiles.  He likes the music from my ipod and going outside.  It's a little too cool today but the sun is shining so it makes things feel good. We both took a lovely nap together.  I don't know who needed it more after yesterday, but naps rule!  He's waking up again, so off I go to play.  Thanks, my little rainbow.  I had the best day ever and look forward to many more.  xo

biopsy

  Greek:  bio life and opsia to see

Biopsy is a medical test removing cells or tissues for examination to determine the presence or extent of a disease.  When a sample of tissue is removed with a needle in such a way that cells are removed the procedure is called a needle aspiration.  The pathological examination of a biopsy can determine whether a lesion is benign or malignant and can help differentiate between different types of cancers. 

This is the official definition of biopsy.  My personal definition is pain, extreme stress and trauma.  I have endured two biopsies in my life:  30 years ago I had a uterine biopsy to determine infertility (which was excruciating) and Monday I had my left breast traumatized with a sterotactic and ultrasound breast biopsy.  After 18 radiation mammograms, they detected calcifications in two areas of my left breast, so I had to bite the bullet and make sure the abnormalities were not cancerous.  Wouldn't you know it would be the one all my boys favored when they suckled as infants?  I went to the imaging center begrudgingly for in my heart I knew I was healthy, but after the radiations and titanium markers, hematomas and all that pain and stress, I wondered if it was worth it.  Perhaps I should have followed my intuition and left well enough alone.  Ten days of extreme tension have been relieved when I received the call from Dr. Simon that all cells are benign and I am cancer free. 

While I went through the biopsy there were technical difficulties which prolonged the aggravating ordeal, but all I could think about was my little moonface.  The nurses were very compassionate and tried to distract me with senseless chatter but all I wanted to do was focus on my little grandson and that is what I did.  I envisioned holding him and giving him smooches the whole time.  Tomorrow I begin my special time with him as Margarita resumes working. Wayne drove me to the store so I could get some goodies for the little guy and we bought some rattles and teething rings and a couple of age-appropriate toys and assembled the mighty bouncer.  I once read that just when a woman thinks her job is done, she becomes a grandmother. Amen to that! 

I dodged a bullet on this one.  Thanks be to God.  xo

where were you?

I remember...

...driving on I-55 going to Brighton Park to take Helen to her doctor appointment.  Eddie and JoBo of B-96 announced the first plane hitting the World Tower.  I immediately called Wayne, then Linda, then my folks.  While at the doctor's office, we watched the second plane attack the remaining Tower and all hell broke loose.  Initially, no one knew what was happening and being an American, we could not believe this reality.  This is not a war-torn country where buildings are demolished and people terrorized as an everyday occurrence.  This is the land of the free ~ where we build and create, not attack and destroy.  Our minds could not grasp the fact that someone would intentionally and maliciously cause such devastation.  Who?  Why?  What is next?  Our reign of terror and supreme surveillance began this day,  a decade ago.  It was the end of the world as we know it and forever will be.  Our mighty country was raped of its innocence and will never, ever be the same.  Despite the horrifying details, our one nation, under God, indivisible, stood up to the bully that is known as terrorists, and we continue to remain strong and patriotic.  Ain't no one, no how, gonna bring us down!

september 11, 2001

the day the angels cried

We spent the next decade rebuilding, repairing our soil and our souls, and loving each other with more kindness and compassion.  Alan Jackson's creation of Where Were You? is perfect for reflection. This weekend revealed so many interviews and stories of the heroes, human and canine, and each and every story held inspiration to be better persons.  Other countries banded together with their support and Sir Paul McCartney chronicled his benefit concert including many English performers.  I was so proud to be part of the culture that inhabits American soil and while I refuse to live in fear and alter my life as the bullies hope we would, I do hug my kids a little longer and tell those I love that I do much more often.  I take nothing and no one for granted and count my blessings every day.  We are a braver country and perhaps we needed this jolt to appreciate our freedom and those who dedicate their lives to keep us free. 

imagine all the people...living life in peace! you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one

My best buddy and darling Linda had airline tickets to any place in the country and wanted to take a trip together.  She was surviving ovarian cancer and knew her time on earth was coming to an end and she was adamant about her need to visit Ground Zero, so the following April we headed to New York to witness the aftermath of our nation's tragedy.  What we found was a city of compassion and healing.  Our visit was indeed memorable and standing on the grounds connected us in a spiritually enlightened way. 

Today will be filled with memorials and testimonies about the 3,000 fallen victims of the attack.  Every single person is a victim, in a way, for the loss trickles down to every human on earth as we are all connected.  I understand many fire houses are holding memorials at their stations and this is a way we can all personally show our support and appreciation for all these first responders do for us. 

The Darien-Woodridge firestation is a teaching firehouse just a block from our home so we strolled by for the ceremony and to shake the hands of the all the firefighters and policemen (and police doggie) to thank them for always having our backs.  They are our guardians and saviors on a scene.  My first born spent a year learning to be a firefighter as his profession, then he became a policeman, and that evolved into working for the state's attorney.  He serves and protects in his way. 

Let's take time today to honor our heroes and let them know how grateful we are. Share your stories of where you were that day and how you coped and how your life is different and hopefully, improved.  Remembering is the best way to honor the victims of 9/11. 


This survivor kept us in tears as he reiterated his personal experience on that fateful day.  Keep their heroism alive for this is now our nation's history.  Show the bullies we are stronger because of their antics, not a weak people.  As the chaplain mentioned, there is always more wisdom in a room filled with mourners than a room filled with laughter.  God loves us and will continue to bless us. I believe, I have hope and I am proud to be an American.  xo